20 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
Uh…
I’m alive.
If you’ve been visiting this blog… I’m sorry…
“Nothing to post”, as usual…
God is still being really good to me.
Uh… yes.
I am… full of gratitude… over how much He’s done in me… we don’t have a very long history together, but we have one, praise Him. I can actually see the difference in my blog posts…
Well. My theology has definitely evolved. And He can modify it as much as He wants to…
For example… I expect Him to speak to me. Apparently He actually likes me. 
. And… I like to ask Him… Questions. “Call to me”, He says, “and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things which you have not known.” Because… we are friends…
It’s been just two-and-a-half years… and then, subtracting the amount of time I was, er, “unserious”… about two, or maybe one-and-a-half… or one year and nine months…
I know that… He is always good. It sounds clichéd… but it’s true. I know that… chastisement isn’t nice… but then, I said I wanted to be holy…and His chastening is proof that I am a son in whom He delights.
I love Him because He first loved me. Because He’s patient with me… because He always has been. Because He inclines His ear to me. He loves me. He’s love. That’s what it all more-or-less comes back to. It’s the reason for the Cross, the reason the Word, the Beautiful Son, became flesh, and was slain. Jesus loved me before He died. That’s why… even when I trip, fall, stumble, I can go back to Daddy… He loves me. He wants me. Actually… I know Him a little better now than I did, say, a year ago… and I’m actually even more aware of how inadequate I am… but His strength, His power is enough. (I’m actually preaching at myself now…)
There’s more to be shed, and laid down, and burnt away. Fine. I have been made His righteousness, and I’m seated with Him, in heavenly places, all in Jesus.
And… apparently He sees me… bigger than I see myself. That’s why He let…never mind.
It’s quite ironic that in what I though was the worst season of my life, He broke the orphan spirit off me… He’s amazing that way. 
At the moment… I am anticipating/dreading fasting for longer periods of time… and hoping/trusting that He’ll purify my motives for fasting… BTW, I’ve noticed… when people start giving me bad/terrible advice, it’s Him telling me “be quiet, sit down, ask Me, and wait for My answer.”
In all my inadequacy, et cetera… He loves me. He thinks I’m lovely (I am made in His image and likeness, so… ). And apparently, He longs to make His power perfect in my weakness, to tell me His secrets… even though I wake up late, don’t know the whole Bible, haven’t memorized enough Scripture, can’t tame my tongue (the Bible says no man can)… He see me perfect. I am perfect. I am not ”fallen man”. I am a son. I am loved, like Jesus.
(Right now,I’m listening to something… and it’s, uh, inspiring me a little.)
And… it just makes me thankful that His Perfection more than outweighs imperfection…
My soul is decidedly in better shape than it was two years ago.
Daddy loves Jesus like Daddy loves me like Jesus loves me. And the Spirit of YHWH lives in me.
And… when you think you’re seeking Him…He’s pursuing you. Remember, He loved you first.
If you’ve been secretly hoping I’d finally post something… I hope you’re happy. 
